A Plethora Of Viscera! Distinctly Morbid Metchandise! Ghoulish Garments!

Thanks to the assistance of Jen at Juror2.Net, The Comtesse is finally able to make her wildest flights of morbid fancy into heavyweight 6.1 oz pre-shrunk 100% cotton reality!

Infamous words from the Superstars of Depravity as taken from the archives of Morbid Fact Du Jour. All verified to be 100% authentic, or my name isn't The Comtesse DeSpair! Each shirt comes with the ever-lovely Skull & Crossbones MFDJ logo on the sleeve. With your Killer Quotes shirt you'll be the life of the party!
Anna Zwanziger: "It would be impossible for me to stop poisoning people." In the early years of the 19th century, an embittered German widow named Anna Zwanziger, who bore a striking resemblance to an oversized toad, hired herself out as a housekeeper and cook to a succession of middle-aged judges. Apparently, Zwanziger hoped that one of these worthies would become so dependent on her domestic skills that he would end up proposing. Of course, there was one small problem with Anna's plan - namely, the inconvenient fact that each of the men was already married or engaged to another woman. Anna hit on an ingenious solution: she poisoned two of the women with arsenic. For good measure, she also poisoned one of the judges, several servants, and a baby (who died after eating a biscuit soaked in arsenic-spiked milk). Just before her execution in July 1811, Anna told her jailers, "It is perhaps better for the community that I should die, as it would be impossible for me to stop poisoning people." (Morbid Fact Du Jour, May 29, 2001) Get Yours Now at the Juror2.Net MFDJ Store
David Berkowitz (aka The Son Of Sam): "I didn't want to hurt them, I only wanted to kill them." "For a little more than a year, between 1976 and 1977, a gun-wielding madman prowled the streets of New York City at night. His weapon was a .44 revolver - and at first the tabloids tagged him the '.44-Caliber Killer'. The terror began on July 29, 1976, when two young women were shot in a parked car in the Bronx. Young people in cars - often dating couples - would continue to be the killer's targets of choice. On one occasion, however, he gunned down a pair of young women sitting on a stoop. On another, he shot a woman as she walked home from school. Frantically she tried protecting her face with a book - but to no avail. The killer simply raised the muzzle of his weapon to the makeshift shield and blaster her in the head. Before his rampage was over, a total of 6 young New Yorkers were dead, and 7 more severely wounded. "At the scene of one double murder, police found a long,ranting note from the killer. 'I am the "Son of Sam". I am a little brat,' he wrote. From that point on, the killer would be known by his bizarre new nickname. The police finally got a break on July 31, 1977, when a couple was shot along the Brooklyn shore and a witness noticed someone driving away from the scene in a car that had just been ticketed. This led the police to David Berkowitz, a pudgy-faced postal worker living in Yonkers. Under arrest, Berkowitz explained the meaning of his bizarre moniker. 'Sam' turned out to be the name of a neighbor, Sam Carr, who - in Berkowitz's profoundly warped mind - was actually a 'high demon' who transmitted his orders to kill through his pet dog, a black Labrador retriever. Insane as this story was, Berkowitz was found mentally fit to stand trial and was sentenced to 300 years in the pen. (Morbid Fact Du Jour, December 10, 2007) Get Yours Now at the Juror2.Net MFDJ Store
Charles Manson: "We're not in Wonderland anymore Alice." "The Manson Family Tate-LaBianca murders occurred on August 9-10, 1969. This infamous episode in history occurred when three young women led by Charles Watson and under the direction of Charles Manson entered the Hollywood house of actress Sharon Tate and brutally murdered her and four guests. One victim, writer Voytek Frykowsky, was shot twice, bludgeoned about the head a dozen times, and stabbed over 50 times. Tate, eight months pregnant at the time, also received multiple stab wounds, including a thrust squarely in the womb. The following night the Manson squad attacked the Los Angeles home of Mr. and Mrs. Leno LaBianca and similarly executed them." (Morbid Fact Du Jour, August 28, 1999) Get Yours Now at the Juror2.Net MFDJ Store
Jeffrey Dahmer: "I should have gone to college and gone into real estate and got myself an aquarium. That's what I should have done." "Tracy Edwards was 'The One That Got Away' - the man who nearly became Jeffrey Dahmer's 18th victim. Edwards had met Dahmer in a shopping mall and Dahmer had invited Tracy and his friends to an impromptu party at his apartment. However, unbeknownst to Edwards, Dahmer gave them the wrong address so he could get Edwards alone. While sitting in Dahmer's apartment sipping beer, Dahmer put his arms around Edwards and propositioned him. Edwards, a straight man, was instantly awake and said he was going home. At that point, Dahmer placed handcuffs on his arm and led him by knifepoint into the stench ridden bedroom. On the wall of the bedroom were photographs of Dahmer's butchered victims. Edwards realized the stench was coming from a barrel beside the window - and he could imagine what it contained (three male torsos, as a matter of fact). Dahmer told Edwards if he didn't cooperate he would cut his heart out and Edwards swung his right fist in a punch that knocked Dahmer sideways, then kicked him in the stomach and ran for the door. When he had made his escape, he led police to the apartment of horror. When police entered the apartment, they found Dahmer lying on the floor, handcuffed. Then one of the policemen opened the door of a refrigerator and gasped, 'Oh my God! There's a goddamn head in here!' That was the moment Dahmer began to scream - a horrible, unearthly scream like an animal." (Morbid Fact Du Jour, September 11, 1998) Get Yours Now at the Juror2.Net MFDJ Store
Are you the sort of person who cringes and shrinks from violence? Do you scream at the sight of blood? Do you look AWAY from accident scenes? Then, why not Densensitize Yourself with Morbid Fact Du Jour? You'll be glad you did! This back of this high-quality shirt depicts a little girl indifferently skipping rope as she glances over at a man who has been brutally tortured and skinned. The front displays a skeleton hand holding a vital vial of MFDJ. Get Yours Now at the Juror2.Net MFDJ Store
Here is the Comtesse DeSpair's take on this morbid classic. The front reminds us that Friends Help Friends Move... but the back reiterates that Real Friends Help Friends Move Bodies. Ain't it the truth? Get Yours Now at the Juror2.Net MFDJ Store
Sick of all those Team Aniston/Jolie t-shirts that are all the rage in Hollywood? Then, why not show your disdain (and piss off some fundamentalist Christians while you're at it) with this Team Satan t-shirt! Featuring the Team Satan logo on the front, a vintage illustration of Satan on the back (as well as on the sleeves), this lovingly-designed shirt is sure to be all the rage in Hell. Also available in blood-dripping red and in a Bible Belt version which eliminates the Team Satan logo entirely, moves the large image of Satan to the front, and adds an Asylum Eclectica logo to the back. Get Yours Now at the Juror2.Net MFDJ Store
It's hard to believe, but the Morbid Fact Du Jour was created by The Comtesse DeSpair while she was holed-up in The Castle DeSpair with a broken arm in 1996. Little did she know that her cure for boredom would one day turn into a macabre empire with dozens (literally, DOZENS!) of readers! Here is your chance to commemorate her astounding accomplishment and show your exquisite taste as well! The MFDJ Anniversary shirt has an image of a horrified man with a fried brain on the back and the MFDJ skull & crossbones logo on the front. Get Yours Now at the Juror2.Net MFDJ Store

Back in the late 90's there was a magazine called "Forbidden Internet" that carried a review of Morbid Fact Du Jour that said, "Morbid Fact Du Jour is like the Denny's of the internet: Open 24 hours and always serving up something horrific."

The Comtesse DeSpair considers this to be one of the finest achievements of her fairly meaningless existence, and has decided to commemorate it in a Cafe Press apron. Available with a black or a white image.

The Asylum Eclectica logo in all its archaic glory enlivens this Cafe Press apron.

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